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When It’s All A Blur…

Thus far, this entire year has been a blur of crises, problems begging for solutions, and health issues. I cannot believe it’s already June!


What does a person do when everything becomes a blur? When events unfold so rapidly that it feels impossible to get centered and to get one’s bearings? At what point does a person have to decide to discontinue working on a crisis situation because a satisfactory resolution is impossible or because one’s body and mind simply can’t handle the continued focus on that crisis? What happens when problems simply cannot be solved… even with the best minds working very hard to reach a resolution? What if creativity, perseverance, and tenacity simply aren’t enough to reach a satisfactory resolution? What if sheer will isn’t enough? How does one decide when to back off of a project to prevent endangering one’s health? At what point does one conclude (and how is that conclusion made?) that one’s health is suffering due to a given situation?

These are some of the questions I have been struggling with these past few months. How far can I push myself? How far should I push myself? Where are the boundaries? What is the likelihood that my efforts will help solve the problem at hand? Even if my efforts look like they might make a difference, at what point do I need to stop what I’m doing anyway to protect my health from further deterioration?

There are no easy answers. I have found it very difficult to decide when to forge ahead and when to back off. Having lived with chronic illnesses for 30 years now, I am a fighter. It’s often hard for me to know which fights I have to walk away from. This is especially true when health-related situations are involved. It’s really, really hard for me to back off from trying to solve/address a health-related problem. However, I have been coming to terms with my need to do that for a given (offline) situation. It hasn’t been easy but I am at peace with the fact that I have been transitioning away from a situation that is too complicated for me to solve… if, in fact, anyone can do so.

In the meantime, I have really missed writing here as often as I used to. The fact of the matter is that the blurry keyboard pictured above isn’t too far off from how my keyboard looks to me at times lately. No matter how much I want to write, sometimes I just can’t lately with everything that has gone on. There are not enough hours in the day to get everything done. Exhaustion can do a number on one’s body. I have been trying hard to “practice what I preach”, so to speak, and to really listen to my body. Sometimes I’m better at doing this than others.

When my blog recently celebrated its 4 year anniversary, I wanted to do more to celebrate the occasion but I didn’t have the time or energy to implement any of my ideas. I made peace with this and wrote a simple post that day. I was just thankful to have managed to get it posted on the right day, to be totally honest. I decided it wasn’t worth stressing over and just did the best I could.

Lately, I’ve been looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak.



All I know for certain is that I miss my old routine and my former schedule for writing here and I would like to “get back to normal”… whatever “normal” is. Will I keep the pace I had before? Not likely. However, I would like to gradually increase the amount of writing I’m doing here. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for sticking with me here – despite my infrequent blog posts lately.


This post was written by Jeanne at http://chronichealing.com. Copyright © Jeanne — chronichealing.com. All rights reserved.


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Reading: When It’s All A Blur…

2 comments

1 EndochickNo Gravatar { 06.14.12 at 11:09 pm }

When it’s time to walk away, you just know…
Endochick´s last [type] ..The tube…

2 JeanneNo Gravatar { 07.06.12 at 1:20 am }

Endochick,

After all these years, I’d like to think I know when to step back. It’s definitely a process that takes time to learn. I’ve reached the point where I do almost always know… but that doesn’t mean I like it.

Jeanne

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