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ChronicHealing.com

Treadmill Time

Lately, I’ve been on the “treadmill”. No, not the literal kind pictured above. (Anyone who was a fly on the wall when I flunked my echocardiogram/stress test would know that I haven’t literally been on a treadmill). No, I mean the figurative treadmill.

No matter how fast I “run”, I can’t “keep up”. First, let me provide some definitions. By “run” in this context, I mean being productive, getting things done, and (gasp) getting “caught up” on my “normal tasks”. (One could debate extensively what “caught up” means. Let’s just say that I have been further behind than usual on just about everything and that stresses me out.

One delay has led to another and the domino effect has left me getting further behind each day lately.

I am purposely confining this summary of how behind I am to my work online. I am lagging in response time (to a ridiculous extent) on emails, Facebook (direct) messages, replying to Facebook comments on my wall, Canary Report messages, getting connected (long overdue) with local endometriosis support group members, posting on my blog anywhere near as frequently as I am accustomed to, leaving blog comments on other sites, etc.

What some of you may not be aware of is that I spend a fair amount of time having 1:1 conversations with various online friends (some are bloggers, some are Canary Report friends, and some are Facebook friends).

(The keyboard pictured above looks just like mine with the exception that the letters are worn off of most of my keys from typing so much)!

So, when I’m not publishing new posts or when my time on Facebook is more limited, it sometimes means that I’m giving and/or receiving support “off the blog”. Lately, I have spent a fair number of hours on this type of support. I thoroughly enjoy the opportunity to connect 1:1 with fellow patients. I am most certainly not complaining! I am just giving some insight into the behind-the-scenes support, networking, and relationship-building that a blog reader here wouldn’t necessarily know about if I didn’t mention it.

I won’t even touch on how far behind I am on tasks in my personal life. That could take a series of posts. Sigh.

Far from having a writer’s block, I have far more ideas about which to write than I have time to write them. I must confess that I sometimes find this timing imbalance frustrating (OK… maddening). The longer I feel I’m running in place on the “treadmill”, the more anxious I get. What I’m telling you is that I’m currently quite anxious.

Several friends have suggested that I relax. My current dilemma is that I have reached the point where I am incapable of relaxing in any kind of meaningful way until I get caught up… even a little compared to where I’m at now.

Normally, I make every effort to reciprocate as quickly as possible when people leave a blog comment here. Lately, I haven’t been very effective at that. It has been all I can do to moderate comments in a timely fashion lately. (Please note: the more blog comments, the better! Bring them on! Please just be aware that I may not get them posted as quickly as usual).

In closing, I apologize to anyone I owe messages to and I am working as rapidly as possible at responding to the backlog of messages. Please consider this post my “blanket apology”. I’m working on catching up as soon as I possibly can. So, I thank you for your patience!

This post was written by Jeanne at http://chronichealing.com. Copyright © Jeanne — chronichealing.com. All rights reserved.


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Reading: Treadmill Time

15 comments

1 AmandaNo Gravatar { 07.12.10 at 7:51 am }

Jeanne,

You know that I appreciate all of your work on the blog and off, and I truly wish you could relax a bit (but I know that is impossible because you care for everyone so much you can’t bear to be behind!)

Don’t forget that my offer still stands to help you in any way I can on here, maybe collating some information that you can use to update the blog so you can feel you are adding content without having to spend hours putting together new posts? Lots of love coming your way xx
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..Life at the Patch – week 11 =-.

2 JeanneNo Gravatar { 07.12.10 at 10:50 am }

Amanda,

Thank you for your offer to help. (Don’t worry! I’ll take you up on it). 😉

Thank you too for your always-thoughtful support. I’m sending love your way too!

Jeanne
xo

3 Jannie FunsterNo Gravatar { 07.15.10 at 6:30 pm }

So, Dearest Jeanne,

I just typed you a lovely long comment here at the library, and got chatting with another mom and my computer timed out and shut down after 10 minutes!!

So here I am again!

Oh boy. The Universe’s way of saying “write a different comment, Jannie.”

The Internet and the social media outlets available can get overwhelming. I admire you for being “off blog”. I’ve been too “on blog.”

I’ve felt out of balance sometimes lately and instead of posting less to get around and read more blogs, I’m posting more. Can one be addicted to creating and hitting “Publish??” It’s that Paint Shop Pro leading me! Just so many fun things for BB to do and wear! So many favorite photos I can now put in BIG.

Then… I have to keep up with the blogs of those who pop in to mine. Well, at least I feel I should pop in. And should is not the funnest word to live. And unfun is not good for anyone.

But… in good news…

Lately I have been taking care of little promises to friends. Mailing things. Answering e-mails.. Thanks for the recent one about FB.

Please let me know if I owe YOU any little promises. I am releasing the energy I’ve kept in. And then will continue getting better at saying no. Just little things. But things I let weigh on me, and ultimately drain my happiest energy.

I have actually done my dishes about 3x weekly too, so that’s great news too.

And I am working on a song, a simpler one than the Let’s Drink Up The Stars one. This one is called “Sail A Child.” When I feel the lyrics are about there, I’ll sing it on video to post on my blog. I even have the camera tripod out and set up in the room I’d like to record it in! Some part of me knows I owe the world songs more than other blog posts. Or at least share my songs a lot more than I have done.

Shoot! What else did I say in that first comment?

FB, I am thinking of proceeding slowly with that, part of my Great Trying To Keep The Balance Plan. 🙂 See how it goes.

And wondering if my site load real slow now with all those sidebar widgets? Thinking maybe rotating 10 links at a time instead of 21. I’ll get it sorted out!

Anyhoo, sorry this comment turned into more about me than YOU.

How ARE you? Aside from the Treadmill, I mean? And writer’s block, which has obviously eased for this honest and inspiring post.

Hope the heat is not as bad as it had been?

Take care!

End of comment.

🙂

Jannie
xo
.-= Jannie Funster´s last blog ..Party Princesses- Ages 4- 5 &amp 6 =-.

4 JeanneNo Gravatar { 07.17.10 at 11:41 pm }

So… Dearest Jannie,

I’m so sorry that your comment vanished into the ether but I like your way of thinking… that this was just a sign that you were meant to write another comment. (I thank you kindly for taking the time and energy to do so).

Let me start by apologizing for how slow I am on comments moderation lately. You know how stressed out I get about not posting comments in a timely fashion.

Yes, The Internet and social media can get overwhelming. I agree! There are only so many hours in a day, after all. Yes, my “off the blog” communications lately have definitely been cutting into my time for blogging and social media. It is what it is. Like so many things, it all seems to go to finding a balance.

You have definitely been busy “on blog”. I pop over to see if there’s a new post and generally find about 3! Then, I make a mental note to return and comment on all of them at once. (My “all or nothing” side of my personality is coming out. What can I say)?

I can TOTALLY understand how Paint Shop Pro is sucking you into posting frequently. After all, you are a guru with that program!! Yes, Blue Bunny’s various costumes and props are endlessly hilarious! Seriously, Jannie, you crack me up with Blue Bunny’s get-ups alone!

I just LOVE your big photos!

I know “should” isn’t my favorite word. I imagine for a Funster like you, “should” is even less welcome. 😉

Yay for your good news. Slowly but surely I am trying to catch up on various random tasks that I wanted to have done by now. So, I understand.

You owe me no promises at all. Yes, learning to say “no” can be very liberating. We don’t want to “drain your happiest energy”!

Jannie, would you like to put your dishwashing expertise to work over here? We have plenty to be done. You just let me know, OK? 😉

I CANNOT wait to hear your new music. We love your first CD so much and can’t wait for the second one! If the tripod is set up, that’s a good sign!

I understand the “proceed slowly with Facebook” part. I totally get it.

I can’t speak for others but your site loads totally fine for me. I don’t notice any slowdown at all since you added the rotating buttons. I have DSL and a fairly fast PC but it works great for me. So, before you spend too much time on changes, you might want to check with your others readers about their experiences with it.

Jannie, my dear, I always love to hear about you and what’s happening in Funsterland. So, please don’t feel any need to apologize whatsoever.

Hmm. How am I??? Is that a trick question, Jannie? I’m hanging in there. I’m really stressed. Lots going on…

To clarify, I never get writer’s block. My problem is the opposite… not being able to capture and write about things fast enough to blog about a small fraction of what I’d really like to write about. So, nothing “cleared”. I just FINALLY got a post published.

The heat is brutal and inhumane. OK. Truth be told it’s better than when it was 96 degrees Fahrenheit one day and 97 degrees Fahrenheit the next. However, for this dysautonomia patient with heat intolerance… it has been just brutal. Please don’t get me started on the fact that we don’t have air conditioning (despite cardiologists warning me that I need it with my fainting history).

You take care too! 🙂

“End of comment”. You crack me up!

Jeanne
xoxo

5 RellacafaNo Gravatar { 07.20.10 at 9:10 pm }

You never have to apologise for being busy and/or tired, Jeanne! It’s hard not to feel guilty, but anyone who cares about you is going to understand that you do the best you can, when you can and enjoy the friendship and positivity that you have to offer. I hope that you feel better soon and that treadmill goes down a few setting ;P xxoo
.-= Rellacafa´s last blog ..A Good Vehicle For A Glorious Rush =-.

6 JeanneNo Gravatar { 07.21.10 at 1:45 am }

Hayley,

Thanks! Sometimes I just feel the need to explain my absence. I have really been struggling with time management lately! Any ideas for how to add a few hours to the day so that I can try to get caught up? If you think of any, please let me know. 😉 I miss leaving blog comments – but have been doing all but none. I’ve spent a lot of 1:1 time lately (connecting “off the blog” with fellow chronic illness patients). It’s all I can do to keep up with comments moderation, replies, and making the rounds to Facebook friends. I hope you are doing well!

Jeanne
xoxo

7 JasmineNo Gravatar { 07.25.10 at 3:13 am }

Jeanne, I wanted to let you know how much I value and enjoy your blog by passing along The Versatile Blogger Award.

.-= Jasmine´s last blog ..Versatile Blogger Award =-.

8 JeanneNo Gravatar { 07.25.10 at 3:52 am }

Jasmine,

Thank you very much! Congratulations on your award! As I explained “off the blog”, I elected to stop posting and passing along any more blog awards awhile back due to lack of space and time. However, I greatly appreciate you thinking of me… and congratulations on your award. 😉

Jeanne

9 GyandeviNo Gravatar { 07.25.10 at 8:06 pm }

Jeanne, Close your eyes and picture me waving my magic wand (you know, the one with the glow-in-the-dark star and glittery handle). “I hereby welcome you to the Land of Being Human, where we strive for perfection only to realize we were perfect all along.” xoxo Ma Gyandevi

10 GyandeviNo Gravatar { 07.25.10 at 8:08 pm }

Now, gotta run and get some shopping done on Amazon (hey, that rhymed). I’ll use the link above. I’ve got two Leo birthdays coming up this week. Yes, I’m late, just like the wabbit said…

11 JennNo Gravatar { 07.26.10 at 1:10 pm }

Hey Jeanne,

I hope it is comforting to know that there is no pressure in this online world. I look forward to your posts and comments, but I don’t mind waiting for them! I’m sure other readers & friends agree. 🙂

Take good care of you! We’ll be here whenever you have time & energy.

12 JeanneNo Gravatar { 07.26.10 at 5:25 pm }

Gyan:

You are too funny. This is the longest I have ever gone without publishing a post and it’s really driving me batty. Thank you for cheering me up!

Also, THANK YOU for making purchases with my Amazon ads so that I can get referral fees. Every little bit helps! Lately, I have taken to posting something atop my Facebook wall about my Amazon blog ads. Many of my Facebook friends have kindly done a “share” to spread the word about my Amazon ads. I am so grateful to my Facebook friends who are spreading the word about my Amazon blog ads and to friends like you who are making purchases with them!

As you know, my husband’s job will be ending in a few days. So, I am trying harder than ever to get the word out about my Amazon blog ads. While the referral fees may be small, it all adds up. So, the more people know about my ads… the better! (Yes, feel free to tweet about my Amazon ads, my dear). Fire up the Tweetdeck! lol (Yes, there are SOME times I miss Twitter).

Thank you! (P.S. You’re too young to be my mother, “Ma Gyandevi”. You’re just a spring chicken!) 😉 xoxo

Jenn:

Well, I appreciate you saying that… Though I must admit it does not feel like “no pressure” to me. It feels very pressured right now from where I sit. I have never gone this long without posting something new on my blog and it’s making me extremely frustrated. I have no shortage of ideas about what to write. I just haven’t been able to sit down and write it. Things are stressful right now with my husband’s job coming to an end. 🙁

So, if you know anyone who shops Amazon and could send them my way (to any of the Amazon ads on my blog), I would greatly appreciate it. I have learned that most people’s eyes sail right past the ads if I don’t mention them… because there are people I know who do shop Amazon and do read my blog but who don’t use my blog ads to order Amazon items because they just didn’t notice or really think about the ads on my blog. So, I have learned it’s not a bad idea to just tell people occasionally for that reason. I figure that now is a good time for me to do so. (If you know anyone thinking of setting up a domain name for a website or blog, I have an ad for Namecheap – left sidebar – too. That is the company I used to purchase my domain name).

Thank you for your kind words! I am trying to “take care of me” as best I can. There has been some drama lately that has drained my energy but one of these days I will get a post up… even if it is one saying, “hey world, have you noticed my Amazon ads?” lol

I seriously may do a post like that next. We’ll see. You do what you have to do, you know? Take care. 🙂

~~~

Jeanne

13 JennNo Gravatar { 07.28.10 at 11:13 pm }

I’m sorry you are feeling stressed and pressured. I am happy to spread the word about your ads! Anything I can do to help, you have helped me so much.

I just wanted you to know that I am never bothered if comments or responses don’t post right away. So no pressure from me. I know it must be hard & frustrating to not be able to post when you want to.

I’m glad you did the post about the ads!

Thanks,
.-= Jenn´s last blog ..WHAT NUMBER IS YOUR PAIN =-.

14 JeanneNo Gravatar { 07.28.10 at 11:52 pm }

Jenn,

You’re so sweet! The pressure on me is purely self-induced. The span between this post and the following one (about the ads/job situation) was the biggest gap I can ever recall between posts in over two years of blogging.

I am distressingly behind on email, Facebook messages, direct and “endometriosis & MCS” group messages on The Canary Report, etc.

Tonight, I became so overwhelmed with just how behind I am that I just started going through my Facebook friend list one by one and disconnecting with anyone I don’t “know”. By that I mean that there are some people that I may have talked with a few times two years ago when we initially became Facebook friends but now I quite literally can’t even recall how/why we got connected.

If I don’t recognize the person’s name and don’t remember interacting with them in the last year… and if they are not following my blog on Facebook’s NetworkedBlogs, I’m dropping them. I am drowning in messages and too many are from people I don’t even recognize. (My Facebook is set up with email notifications).

So, I’m going to trim down my list of Facebook friends a bit. I certainly don’t mean to offend anyone by dropping them but the more people I’m connected to, the longer it takes to manage messages, respond to invitations, etc.

I can’t keep feeling this overwhelmed all the time. It’s not healthy.

If I get carried away and accidentally drop someone who reads but never comments on my Facebook wall (i.e. someone I think has forgotten me that hasn’t), they can always send me another Facebook friend request. All I know is I can’t let my Facebook get as out of control as my former Twitter account was and it’s already feeling like it’s headed that way. So, once I drop the people I never interact with anyway, that should cut down on invitations to Facebook events I have no interest in and such.

Thank you for being so wonderfully patient and understanding. I detest getting so behind on things. The last couple of weeks has been very frustrating in that sense. Once upon a time, I posted daily on average. So, having two weeks between posts has just been driving me batty.

I’m glad I did it too. No matter what happens, at least I’ll know I overcame my discomfort/fear and talked about it. I’ve learned that people will rarely click on these buttons unless someone calls them to their attention. (For example, my husband sent out a mass email to family and friends in November both this past year and the year before… drawing people’s attention to my Amazon ads). Lo and behold, orders came in shortly after he sent the email.

So, I know that speaking up about this stuff was the right thing to do. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen. As long as I’m doing my best, that’s all I can do. (Someday, I’ll share the story of how I permanently damaged my health the first time my husband was laid off by trying to force my body to do things far beyond what it could handle)!

If you care to retweet the post occasionally, that would be a big help. Thank you, Jenn!

I hope you are feeling OK (or as well as can be expected) health-wise… despite the unfortunate turn of events with your job.

Jeanne
xoxo

15 Overload Mode — ChronicHealing.com { 08.31.10 at 5:48 am }

[…] mode. It has been difficult for me to write as often as I would like lately, as I have mentioned previously. It’s certainly not for lack of ideas. (It has been very frustrating to not be able to post […]

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