Category — Infertility

On what is the eve of Mother’s Day (at least here in the United States), the link below may be helpful to some readers here:

My thoughts go out to anyone who is struggling (or has in the past) with infertility, pregnancy loss, insensitive comments from people, and the time/energy/stress involved with investigating, paying for, and pursuing family-building options (of all sorts) in the face of infertility. My thoughts go out to those who are childfree-not-by-choice.

Given the statistics, it is highly likely that you know someone (or multiple people) who are struggling with infertility. Many people dealing with such struggles are very cautious about sharing this information. If someone has entrusted you with information about their struggle with infertility, I think it’s important to be be mindful of how excruciatingly painful it can be. Mother’s Day is one of those especially difficult times for many. Please try to remember those who are coping with such situations.

Last but not least, Mother’s Day can be difficult for others who are not struggling with infertility. For those who lost a mother or a child, it can be a very painful time. Each year when I do a Mother’s Day post, someone I know online points out another life situation that makes this weekend emotionally difficult for them. There are many such situations. The point I wish to make is that I think it’s very important to remember how difficult this weekend can be for some people and to support them in any way possible. Thank you.

This post was written by Jeanne at http://chronichealing.com. Copyright © Jeanne — chronichealing.com. All rights reserved.

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It is National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW). Often, when we read about infertility online we hear about the struggle of those who are actively trying to conceive… or perhaps about life after a struggle with infertility that includes children. However, there are many others whose stories with regard to infertility may not be heard quite as often. I believe it’s important for the voices of those who are childfree-not-by-choice to be heard as well.

Please take a moment to check out what Lisa wrote here called:

It’s important to increase awareness of the many ways in which infertility impacts men and women. I appreciate Lisa sharing her perspective on her blog and wanted to share it with my readers.

This post was written by Jeanne at http://chronichealing.com. Copyright © Jeanne — chronichealing.com. All rights reserved.

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If you’re looking for some light reading, the research listed below is not it. If you’re interested in reading thought-provoking, detailed information regarding research on endometriosis and endometriosis-related infertility, this is an interesting read. For those of you who are not signed up for Google alerts on the topic of endometriosis, you may wish to consider signing up for them.

Today, I received an email alerting me to the newer study below. The notification led me to a site with which I wasn’t particularly impressed. As is so often the case, though, with such alerts that notify me of a site talking about a research study, I found the notification helpful in the aspect that it told me of the study so that I could then go look for the actual research itself (rather than someone’s interpretation of it). I won’t give my own interpretation of this research. Instead, I’ll include the links here for those who wish to read it themselves:

It’s always refreshing to me to see meaningful endometriosis research. With so many endometriosis patients impacted by infertility, I found this research to be a breath of fresh air.

This post was written by Jeanne at http://chronichealing.com. Copyright © Jeanne — chronichealing.com. All rights reserved.

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Thanks to seeing Kelly’s post on Twin Peas Blog and Podcast, it came to my attention that there is infertility-related legislation pending at the federal level that affects people in the United States.

As anyone struggling with infertility can tell you, medical treatment for infertility can be extremely expensive. There are very few states with legislation that financially assists those struggling with infertility. Federal legislation (details below) that will assist those struggling with infertility is certainly a step in the right direction.

The more people who take just a moment to speak up about why this is important, the better the chances that it will become law.

As mentioned in the proposed legislation:

“The World Health Organization formally recognizes infertility as a disease, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have stated that infertility is an emerging public health priority”.

Let me say that again because it bears repeating…

People who struggle with infertility are no less entitled to appropriate medical treatment than people with other medical conditions. It is discriminatory to deny medical treatment for infertility. By enacting legislation that will make infertility treatment more affordable, the unfair cost burden that infertile couples face for uncovered or under-covered infertility treatment will not disappear but it will be lessened.

The RESOLVE site has links that will quickly and easily direct you to the information you need to contact your legislators to express your support for Family Act of 2011, S 965.

Visit RESOLVE for information on how you can help.

Not directly affected by infertility? Before you move on, please consider this:

Infertility affects approximately 10% of the population. Since infertility strikes diverse groups-affecting people from all socioeconomic levels and cutting across all racial, ethnic and religious lines… chances are great that a friend, relative, neighbor – or perhaps you – are attempting to cope with the medical and emotional aspects of infertility.

Infertility treatment is expensive and even when there is coverage, the out of pocket expenses can be cost-prohibitive. Why not take a moment, using the RESOLVE link to access the information needed, to support those around you who struggle with infertility (or to speak up for yourself)? It only takes a moment and the more voices the legislators hear from, the better. Please spread the word about this legislation on social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter too. Feel free to post this link to help get the word out. If you have a blog, please consider mentioning this legislation there.

This post was written by Jeanne at http://chronichealing.com. Copyright © Jeanne — chronichealing.com. All rights reserved.

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Recently, I asked a friend who is struggling with infertility if her husband might be interested in writing a guest post here regarding Father’s Day and infertility. I floated this idea out a few weeks in advance because I knew that it would probably require some thought on his part (as to whether or not to write such a post). After all, it’s an emotional topic.

My friend later got back to me and let me know that her husband had given it some thought and had decided not to write such a post at this time. Apparently, though, my having posed the question about the guest blog post triggered some conversation for this couple.

I try not to make generalizations about one gender or another but over the years I have heard many cases of men who talk less about their infertility struggles than women while still being profoundly affected by the struggles. I myself believe that the way our society socializes boys and girls to grow into men and women has a lot to do with how readily men discuss their feelings about the infertility struggle… or not. Many men I know of (who are struggling with infertility) spend less time talking about it than their partners. However, that does not necessarily mean that they spend less time thinking about it or feeling the many emotions associated with infertility struggles.

I was reading the article Father’s Day and the Fertility Challenged. I think there are some men who seem less fazed by the hoopla surrounding Father’s Day than, say, their wives might regarding Mother’s Day. I understand the author’s point that the marketing for Father’s Day is typically more subtle than for Mother’s Day. At the same time, I wonder how many men are out there hurting, grieving, and suffering in silence. I wonder how many men don’t feel comfortable fully sharing their feelings of grief and loss.

Perhaps they have difficulty articulating these feelings? Perhaps they are watching their wives deal with the grief and loss and they wish to spare them additional pain? Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos touched on this topic (how her husband coped) in her award-winning book Silent Sorority.

I think one of the most important things to remember is that men are affected profoundly by infertility struggles. They may or may not have easy access to the resources that can assist them in coping with their situation. Again, I don’t wish to over-generalize but based on my observations it seems that women struggling with infertility tend to have a better support system than men for dealing with it.

In the course of writing this post, I came across numerous articles regarding the topic “Father’s Day can be tough for men with male factor infertility”. While I have no doubt that this is true, I certainly don’t think that the challenges associated with infertility struggles (for men) are limited to those with male factor infertility. Whether infertility is determined to be male factor, female factor, or a combination of both… the challenges of infertility affect people in all of the above groups.

So, going back to the title of the post… Is it easier for men to deal with parenting holidays? I would argue ‘no’. Women struggling with infertility who undergo infertility treatment have to deal with hormones, injections, and various invasive procedures. This certainly adds layers of additional stress. At the same time, the men who love them and are by their sides throughout the treatment process are on the same complicated journey. They are there supporting and worrying about their wives.

It’s important not to overlook the feelings of men who struggle with infertility. If you know someone struggling with infertility and/or pregnancy loss, be aware that holiday weekends like this can be especially painful times. For couples who have struggled with miscarriages, holidays like this can be especially tough. Your support for your friends, co-workers, and loved ones who struggle with infertility may well make a frustrating, challenging, heartbreaking time just a little easier.

Finally, here is a link from RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association that some may find helpful:

This post was written by Jeanne at http://chronichealing.com. Copyright © Jeanne — chronichealing.com. All rights reserved.

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Given that I have not been feeling well enough to write a new blog post and the fact that I always write a post regarding Mother’s Day, I decided to post something short with a link to something I wrote last May. (I have already noticed many visitors to Mother’s Day posts from years past). With 1 in 8 couples affected by infertility, odds are good that you know someone struggling with infertility (whether you know it or not). Insensitive remarks and judgmental comments often drive those struggling with infertility to keep their struggle private.

This Mother’s Day, please show compassion to the women – and men – around you who are childless (whether they are childless by choice or not). We live in a child-centric society and being childless can feel very isolating. There are all sorts of reasons that people are childless. The last thing childless people need is to be judged by others or condescended to. Sadly, the childless people I have interacted with tend to get heaping doses of both judgment and condescension. Some people’s comments aren’t intended to be malicious but they are hurtful nonetheless.

If you have a friend or loved one who is struggling with infertility and you don’t know what to say/do to be supportive, the best thing you can do is take cues from that person/couple. They may wish to talk about it and they may not. They may be happy to tell you what is helpful and what is not. They may wish not to discuss it at all. Everyone is different and one person’s process for dealing with loss may differ quite a bit from another’s. By asking your friend or loved one how you can help, you show them that you care. Bear in mind that they are most likely inundated with unsolicited advice. This is why taking cues from them is really important.

This is a difficult time of year for anyone who has suffered a loss that results in Mother’s Day bringing up painful memories. This is not limited to those experiencing infertility and/or pregnancy loss.

This post was written by Jeanne at http://chronichealing.com. Copyright © Jeanne — chronichealing.com. All rights reserved.

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I haven’t written a blog post in a couple of weeks because I have had a migraine for 3.5 weeks now and I have been offline the vast majority of the time.

However, I did want to mention that this is National Infertility Awareness Week 2011. Please click the logo below for more information from RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association:

Infertility is a disease that affects 1 in 8 couples of childbearing age. Odds are good that you know people who are struggling with infertility (whether you are aware of it or not).

“Infertility is a disease that results in the abnormal functioning of the male or female reproductive system. Both the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM), World Health Organization (WHO) and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recognize infertility as a disease”. [Source: RESOLVE].

Please consider learning more about infertility. It is common for well-meaning people to make hurtful and insensitive remarks to people who are struggling with infertility. (Hopefully increased awareness will make this phenomenon less common).

This post was written by Jeanne at http://chronichealing.com. Copyright © Jeanne — chronichealing.com. All rights reserved.

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While I had many ideas for additional topics to cover this month, time has flown by and my energy has been limited. I decided to do a recap of the Endometriosis Awareness Month 2011 posts for those who may have missed one or more of them. First we heard from Dr. Diane Neal and Endochick in a guest blog post called:

Then I wrote this post about something I call “yellow-washing”:

Next I wrote this personal post regarding undiagnosed teenagers struggling with what may be endometriosis:

After that, I wrote about the importance of support here:

Following that, I talked about being sidetracked from Endometriosis Awareness Month by migraines:

Then, I wrote about the important topic of suicide prevention:

Finally, Jenn did a guest blog post about how chronic illnesses like endometriosis can affect one financially:

I would like to thank Diane, Endochick, and Jenn for taking the time and energy to write wonderful guest blog posts for Endometriosis Awareness Month. While I hoped to do more this month than I have, I have learned over the years that it isn’t wise to force my body beyond its limits. So, the many days this month when my body essentially told me, “no” when I asked it to do something, I didn’t force it. I listened to it because the consequences of not listening to one’s body can be pretty unpleasant.

I would like to thank everyone who has signed the petition and/or shared the link on social media:

Endometriosis Awareness Month may be drawing to a close but we collect signatures on that petition year-round. So, please continue to share that link on Facebook and Twitter. Just this month the petition gained 56 signatures. That’s not bad! Many who signed elected to use the optional field for comments. Reading through those comments, one cannot help but be moved and inspired to action. There is so much work to be done! Let’s keep getting the word out to people. Here is that link for the petition once again:

Thank you very much to everyone who has worked so hard and so passionately to spread the word about endometriosis, to foster awareness about it, and to take a close look at endometriosis organizations to ascertain whether they are advocating for patients as they claim. Taking the time to research organizations before supporting them (financially or otherwise) is worth the time and effort. Sadly there are organizations that purport to advocate for endometriosis patients but upon a bit of investigation, it becomes apparent that looks can be deceiving.

Thank you to everyone who is working to spread the facts about endometriosis and working to counter endometriosis misinformation.

This post was written by Jeanne at http://chronichealing.com. Copyright © Jeanne — chronichealing.com. All rights reserved.

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Previously this Endometriosis Awareness Month, you heard from Diane and Endochick in Voices On Endometriosis about ways in which endometriosis has impacted them. I had also asked my friend Jenn if she’d be willing to guest blog this month. Today, I am honored to share what she has written about the financial implications endometriosis has had for her.

Jenn is chronically healing from Stage IV endometriosis. She has a Master’s Degree in Liberal Studies with focuses in Conflict Management, Human Development & Family Studies and Sociology. She is a Certified Coach. She started her endo blog last year to chronicle her journey and struggles with endometriosis. She is always searching for alternative, complementary treatments and self-care options for women.

I was diagnosed with endometriosis six years ago after years of pain and misery. My life has changed in many ways because of my disease. Lately, the financial consequences of my endo weigh heavily on my mind. The largest financial toll has been over the last year.

I was incapacitated by my endometriosis symptoms in January 2010. My endo pain flared & raged and didn’t relent for months. I was unable to work. When my FMLA time ran out, I was given two medical leave extensions from my employer. I was healing from major surgery when my second extension expired and I was fired from my job. My employer said I “voluntarily abandoned” my position in a shady attempt to prevent my unemployment benefits.

I would have been able to return to work the week after I lost my job. I fought through two appeals with my former employer to receive unemployment.

The majority of our financial burden fell on my husband. Without him, I would not make it financially. My monthly unemployment amount isn’t enough to even pay my mortgage, not to mention my other bills. I am not complaining; I am grateful for the unemployment benefits. Still, the truth is, it’s tough to survive on the amount I receive. When my weekly benefit amount was determined, three months of my FMLA time were factored into the equation. In other words, three big fat zeroes were included in the average. Those zeroes did not help my cause.

I have been well enough to work for months but I haven’t had any luck finding a job. As the blank space widens between the present and my last job, I know my chances of finding work grow slimmer. How do I explain my joblessness to potential employers? It’s quite a dilemma. There’s no good response. The truth won’t help me secure a job. It’s hard to imagine an employer excited to hire a person who was too sick to work for six months. Besides, my medical condition and history should be private. The only other option is to be untruthful, but there isn’t a lie I can conjure to adequately explain my situation. Employers don’t like gaps in employment, period.

Now, add in all of the medical bills I acquired over the six month period — two surgeries, three ER visits, several doctors’ appointments, and expensive medication. Trust me, the math is depressing. When I was fired, I had just met my insurance out-of-pocket maximum for the year. I had to start all over with my new insurance. (My difficulty finding insurance coverage is a whole other story). The only insurance I was able to obtain comes with a hefty $5,000 deductible and they don’t pay a penny until I hit that amount. Ouch. Since I have no clue how my endo will progress from this point, I have no idea what medical needs may arise. Any medical care will be expensive. I guess I was lucky to even find an individual insurance plan though; my husband was denied coverage by every local insurance company due to a pre-existing condition.

My list of financial worries goes on and on and on. I don’t know if I’ll ever get back on track and it’s terrifying.

Most days, I don’t let money concerns consume me. I remind myself of all of my blessings. I try to keep it all in perspective and remember it is just money. However, I do have days when the weight of my financial worries collapse upon me and make it difficult to breathe. I need to have faith and believe I will make it through this tough time. When I get stressed about money, I have to remind myself that my financial troubles pale in comparison to the physical and emotional pain my endo symptoms have caused me.

This post was written by Jeanne at http://chronichealing.com. Copyright © Jeanne — chronichealing.com. All rights reserved.

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In the past, I have written many posts about the topic of suicide and about the frequency with which people search phrases like “endometriosis and suicide” before landing on my blog.

Endochick recently wrote this post: Why we need awareness #3.

While the three hour sampling of searches mentioned in that post did not include any about the topic of suicide, I know from talking with Endochick that her blog gets daily traffic on the topic, as does mine.

Since it is Endometriosis Awareness Month and multiple blogs get daily traffic on “endometriosis and suicide”, I decided that an important part of blogging for Endometriosis Awareness Month is to cover this topic.

There is more information about suicide HERE, HERE, and HERE.

Finally, I wrote about suicide prevention in general HERE after taking an informative class on suicide alertness.

If you are having thoughts of suicide, I urge you to contact one of the hotlines listed above. Please click the graphic above that pertains to your geographical area.

For more information on creating endometriosis awareness, please click below. Awareness is vital and help is available for those having thoughts of suicide. Please help us spread awareness about this serious illness.

This post was written by Jeanne at http://chronichealing.com. Copyright © Jeanne — chronichealing.com. All rights reserved.

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